I have been wondering whether signing up for School of Witness(SOW) has been a right choice for me. The entire programme may be life changing, enriching, and character moulding....but do I actually want to change myself? Do i want to?!?!?!

Evangelisation and proclamation has never been something I yearned to do. never ever before. That's probably because I believe that GOd manifests Himself in many forms...the buddha...ala...Jesus, etc, and no single religion pales in comparison with the rest. Basically, a common message apparent in all religions: "Do Good"
In my opinion, evangelisation and proclamation are akin to advertising religion. This draws a close relation to how goods compete with one another in the free market economy. The thought of religion being a product for marketing somehow puts me on my toes.

Hopefully Sow might inspire me to be a witness of christ...just that the programmes really have to be powerful and inspirational to give my strong-minded personality a big nudge. I want god to guide me in my life.....but then again do I really desire to be a holy holy person after that 5 weeks?

A kevin who can't talk cock after that 5 weeks....well...Im just in love with my "talk crapability" no matter how much impure content i can produce

I feel like the prophet jonah who wasn't whole hearted in giving himself .....

On another note...I feel so useless..and hopeless. An utter failure. A shadow of my former self. Im so frightened of trying anymore, because undoubtedly i will still fail.....i give up...

With that pessimism, life could only get better, until then....