Was feeling pissed, agitated, upset the entire day.
Gave it a careful thought during dinner.
Took a walk in the park all alone
After which, I stopped by the pavillion to write my letter.
I guess that this was the best way
My 3rd letter to mommy and daddy.
First was confirmation camp
Second was graduation(sji)

Came home at almost 12
followed by long talk with mommy and daddy
Parents really do know their children at the back of their hands no matter how old the child has grown
Am delighted and thank god for my parents
Im no longer upset now
Hope to have good foresight and strong vision like daddy and marry a capable and virtuous wife like mummy

Then again, I shudder when I think about the future which somehow seems like the night sky which is so open to possibilities, where silver linings can be found, where traps are hidden, where my adversaries are unknown.
Will I be successful in bringing up a closely-knitted family
Will I have enough power to give my family a comfortable life
Will I even find She who is worthy of my love

perhaps..who knows...I might just get killed by a stray bullet during national service.
Life isn't meaningless, but Life is so unpredictable...

It is one day to the New year. Much has happened in 2008.

The FUEL camp went deep down and brought out much from me to re-ponder about my life issues again. Was tired throughout the camp and kept sleeping. Really thank the people who planned it. The bonding day yesterday was also great. Got to know some people better and the night talk cock session was YAY! Hope that we have more of such stuff in the future.

Class gathering was so enjoyable. Felt really emo writing letters to the girls the night before. Finished at about 3am...but because I was still very "thought-full", only slept at about 4...only to realise that I had 3 more to go in the morn. Being with the PDA as usual was fun, and of course wet! Lynette was the host and she was concerned about us getting sick, so nice of her to bring out towels and errhem....disposable underwears....

christmas feels so empty
so pathetic
so drained of joy

as i grow older, christmas gets less and less fun

I lost 50 bucks today!!!
wow!!
I feel so ecstatic about christmas
wow....
wow....
donated to someone probably

and i still have to keep smiling for everyone
though it isn't gonna last past midnight

Making a new step
could mean a hard slap
might get a gentle pat
that i do not know
and i have to go slow

Perhaps a century or less
that's how long my life gets
how can i afford to go slow

falling from the sky
the one who made the angels cry
oh my
He's not gonna be mine

the sleigh arrives
i make a dive
i search frantically
but it isn't there
i wonder where

People talking without listening
listening without thinking
i can stop crying
only when the soul frying stops

You gave me a smile
which went miles into my heart
which shattered my smile
which glued my lips
and i just didn't know what to do
cause I knew
I will never be with you

Returned from Japan yesterday.
The temperature was alright, manageable by my "armour" except on the second day when it was raining in Kyoto.
The quality food was something that I really enjoyed during my trip. The dinner in the hotel room on Tuesday really rocked! Like my dad, I was rather disppointed in the scenery since the castles, temples, blah, blah(cause there was nothing else) were just items in the potrait of a massive concrete jungle in the city of osaka. The chilly rain on the second day totally spoilt our visit to the most scenic place(countryside of Kyoto).
I am marvelled at the politeness of the Japanese and their excellent standard of service that is rare in a country like Singapore. There was even an occasion where a Japanese schoolgirl walked us to our designated platform at the train station and we were never rejected when asking for directions though the Japanese had trouble understanding english.

There was this night that I couldn't sleep after watching CNN news about the cholera epidemic in Africa and the terror attack in Mumbai. On my side of the universe, hotel slippers are thrown away every day in a 5 star hotel that is equipped with automatic taps and toilet bowl "gameboys", with people whose tummies are full of tender sashimi, succulent beef, heavenly snow crab...and people who enjoy their own hentais freely as their guns are wrapped with a finely manufactured rubber "silencer"...On the other god-forsaken side of the globe, natural slippers are found on the soles of many who trudge on the rough dirt, people stick their tongues out to receive the meagre amounts of clean water from the automatic sky taps since one of the other alternatives is the yellowish one well kept in their bladders, tummies are full of growls and perhaps roars on empty nights, and those who use their guns will live to find a forest of cauliflowers in their barrels.

Millions weep at the oxymoronic term "religious war" uttered by Osama and his vast network of warped-minded buddies who continue to insult the muslim world via their immature actions. Equality is and had always been a mission impossible in the various meritocratic societies that we thrive in. This has been a main goal of such extremist groups. Yet, have they ever pondered how would the September 11 attacks in the heart of the States, the London bombings, Mumbai massacre ever aid in achieving this goal other than sparking a wave of desolation, animosity, and of course... vengeance? These fools continue to destroy their chances of attracting foreign investments without an assurance of a stable social climate. Tourism industry in Iraq has also been virtually obliterated since the sep11 bombings. I find it difficult to see any rationale in striking fear and attempts to cripple the economies of strong nations since it would clearly not place them in a better position for international wealth distribution and the drive towards equity.

A child wails...and he demands for a packet of sweets placed by his parents on a high shelf out of his reach. He cries, he swears, he jumps, he shouts, and he gets 1 sweet. The child tries a second time. He cries, he swears, he jumps, he shouts, his parents do not give in. The child picks up a kitchen knife and stabs them both...
Has he lost something greater?...
Do you think he will ever get another sweet?...
and his diapers read:"religious war"

so much has to be done...

On a random note, went out with S23 to East coast for cycling today. Ass hurts still.

I guess what kaizhong and the PDA said was kinda true...I realised that it's about me, though not entirely just me....

They played pool after lunch. Being not very interested, I resorted to reading at books galore and scouting for guitar accessories where I met Marcus Wong and the 433 sji peeps. Yi Hui is super pro at pool. And lynette reminds me of myself when i just started learning how to play....the weird bridges and the awkward stick shots. very cute.

Had a fufilling game of dota with Artons and zac on my team. First time using PL against non-AI players and it went very well with double butterflies, together with Sny against the other team. Almost thought that we would have lost given zac's multiple deaths. I shouldn't have played lan. The bus was slow, the mrt was slow and I was late for fuel. But still, it is my own irresponsibility to put the blame on. Delighted to see many. And anthony was really crazy, seriously crazy....but that's being himself....and as if im not....

that's it for now... I need to sleep

Grad night was wonderful.

Everyone looked so different. Maybe not...the guys looked more or less the same, only difference was the hair. The girls were...hmm, looked totally like strangers. The njc uniform had suppressed the pheonixes in every one of them. I was like..omg! do I even know these people?!?!
The pda dressed normally, the usual formal attire, but we brought swords and shields like a bunch of fools and everyone was like looking at us in bewilderment at the beginning. Yeah, We were the grad knights!!! Forgot to bring my big sunglasses, it was like flash here , then...flash there every second or two. Very bad for eyesight! Didnt take photos with some people though...hope that there will be a chance next time...

I wanna thank the class girls for the letters, and the class t-shirt too. They were really creative and nice. Luv ya lots:
JamieAmySuyiLynetteWanchingWendyYihuiVanessaMarissaShalom
Kinda regret not mixing much with you girls in these 2 years. But yup! the S23 flame will always burn in our hearts. woah! since when was I the "love detector"?!

So we had a hotel room to squeeze in. We walked at esplanade, clarke quay till about 4 before going back to the hotel to "sleep". Even though the rest could sleep, I couldnt. I just stared into the black sky at the balcony, gazing at the city lights, and wondering if the people(my classmates) in the room behind me would ever get a chance to be with one another again...
And im sorry for emoing during the post-prom stuff having been hyper during the dinner. Lots of stuff on my mind these couple of dayz. Hope to...but cant stay smiling and making noise 24 hours haaha. Maybe only kaizhong can...

Not in the mood to post the prom photos here or on facebook given my sluggish comp. And my mailbox is flooded with "*** has tagged you in a photo!".
I hate nj but i love the njcians!...my friends at least.
Enjoyed the two years in nj despite the dreadful academic performance(will know in 3months time of the final result) and the fall in self-esteem(recovered but might be falling again). So many people that I will be missing....
wont be talking about these great friends i made in nj here as it would be too long and i dun wanna miss anyone out. Who ever said that muggers cant be friends??!!!!

Appreciated the PDA core members for cheering me up whenever I was emotified during these 2 years and the support that we gave one another. The things that the 8 of us had in common, our lunch sharing(talk-cock) sessions, the brotherly guys-school spirit that we shared, and the way we had turned the school upside down.....I will never forget them. And for the non-pda classmates...thanks for enduring our ever-so-frequent disruption of lessons, and wreaking havoc with us at other times too.

Im sure gonna keep my grad knight sword and shield

Sorry bert, joel, horse...erm and i dont know who else for being a wet blanket today at the last minute despite promising you guys yesterday. Haha, not in the mood xia, sure get owned at dota.

While packing my stuff today, I found my Secondary 1 english journal.

This is one of the entries(hilariously immature):



Kevin:

I feel that nobody likes homework as homework is stupid. Everyone would try to avoid it if possible. I also agree that all teachers are sadists, they want to pump us with homework until we cannot take the load and collapse. Teachers give us a lot of homework so that we would do well and people will later think of them as very good teachers. They want nothing but fame. It is however good to do some homework to practise what we have learnt, but doing too much will send us to our graves earlier. Teachers give us a lot of homework knowing that we would not be able to complete them the next day so that they can scold and punish us. Scolding and punishing us would make them feel very powerful. They are indeed abusing their authorities! I hate teachers who give lots of homework!

Ms Wong Wah lee's comments:

What fame? Is there fame involved here?
Have you ever wondered why you could not finish your homework? Did you make full use of your time? Teachers who give a lot of homework will also have to mark A LOT! I totally disagree with what you have written!


Have been going out the past few dayz.

Monday:
Pangsehed NJpda and played badminton, swim, pool with Jing Han, dardar, clarence, and nicgoh(pda pres). Went to church for FUEL meeting. Returned to school for illegal stayover with the rest of pda. Seriously damn fun! Details cannot be posted here

Tuesday:
Secretly Emo day (in my dreams)

Wednesday:
Swimming at Jurong East with pda. Talk cock buy stuff and arcade. And haiz...we failed to take picture with the pretty girl. haha no balls...no balls...I never had such gigantic ones. Anyway, she would probably be intimidated by a bunch of loud and noisy guys, thinking that we r gonna rape, kill, and dump her into the sea or something like that...

And my sun burn really hurts.

As are over!
and so I am bored, having seriously nothing to do before I find a job before going to tekong jail on the 11th of April.
Tuesday we had badminton session at Bishan immediately after our paper, after which we split up and lanned again. There was no CS, had to play dota for like 2hours?!?! Head pain.
Yesterday was Sentosa outing as usual. But the weather was really bad. Put sunblock even though there was like...no sun. The rain was ..start stop start stop start stop, super irritating, together with the obscene flashes of lightning. The sand was as good as stepping on lumpy. I think it's probably the worse sentosa outing we had so far. There was this point of time when the guys stopped playing soccer because of the rain and everyone at the beach rushed into the shelter. We realised that the 2girls Jamie and Yihui were missing, couldn't find them at any of the shelters. Despite the heavy rain and "broom room broom" thunder, they were in the waters splashing at each other. I was like,,wooh! Realli got balls mann! I was so scared of getting struck down by lightning perhaps...

Dinner was at Muscle Boy's. The sirloin steak and King prawn were kinda pathetic. But luckily the waitress was very chiou, both cute and pretty, especially the way she smileeed...being amused by our nonsense. pathetic..pathetic...

After dinner we broke-up with the girls and the pda went to toys r'us. Damn fun. kaizhong looked like some construction worker by wearing the yellow helmet with his favorite BOSS long sleeved shirt that he wore the last time too. The toys nowadays are cool but obviously the prices have risen as well. Nic goh and I bought some nice medieval knight's sword and shield. We were like some bunch of overgrown children slashing one another at the departmental store. But Who cares? why so serious?

The journey home was kinda emo...Just zac and I on 855. Was telling him about the routes to my house and the unworldly implications that might be involved at that time of the night. I took the supposedly "safer" route. Somehow, when I was walking pass the deserted powerhouse, there were close footsteps behind me. Turned around, saw nothing.
Immediately, I turned my entire body around as what my mom always told me to do. The footsteps stopped and there was nobody.
When I was about to continue...the breathing sounds started...
I hastened my pace,
I guessed it sensed the anxiety inside of me.
There was a snigger. The footsteps suddenly felt as though they were right behind me.
when i was about to clear from the powerhouse, I heard an "ahem" right next to me.
I broke into a run until the security guard post was near.

Slept at about 3+ last night trying to download and install combat arms which the rest were playing. in the end, there was this message about system requirement being not met. Almost smashed my comp. Luckily msn was still on.

Ok I will probably slack the next few days at home having burnt such a hole in my wallet. Managing my finance is important!

Crashed cj today to study with the sjisjab peeps. It was very unproductive of course. But well, I had studied physics for 3 times this A level period, so another day won't make much of a difference anyway.
Somehow there's this nice sji feeling about cj, unlike nj.
Haven't made fun of Joel for so long, and I ENJOYED IT! totally love making fun of dardar especially when his retaliation to our comments just sparks more crap out. hmm, we probably did 1 and a half physics papers in 7hours. that brings a calculated productivity rate of 25%? The other 75% went into talking cock.

Tomorrow is the END! the END! no studying for more than 2 and a half years. Oh mann, I miss A levels. Intelligence level would have deteriorated by 60 by the time I pass out from full time NS.

Can't wait for grad night. How in the world am I gonna throw my face then..... for the last time....

And Kevin wants to thank everyone for the birthday greetings. How he hopes that the wishes he made would come through.But the angel appears and tells him "Noob!Miracles can only happen if you chase your dreams and not seat there like a bloody plant. How do I make the potion if you ain't gonna get me the ingredients!"

So...i decided to post something after a while...

Today, my headache just got worse after studying with NJPDA. Its fun...but how am I gonna concentrate with nic goh putting his head through the window and hwahwahwa! Its like some vicious cycle of noise as it always have been. When I don't feel like studying, Im gonna disturb the rest. and when I feel like studying, someone won't feel like, and so he's gonna disturb everyone else. Hence, by mathematical induction and the law of retarded children, we will keep getting distracted unless we separate ourselves from each other, ceteris paribus. But to separate ourselves from each other, we have to overcome binding energy. And the only ones who can do it best are lumpy(born with the ability to teleport) and zac(born with the ability to study with his face on the wall and optical night vision mode to mugg in the dark).

In the course of my lims now...A levels has been bad BAD!
and the papers suck! not because they are tough but because I just hate them
Like what my friend says...A good paper is one which is difficult enough for others to fail, but easy enough for me to do. What's the point if everyone is able to eat the maths paper like a piece of cake, those people from woodbridge ...erm i mean cambridge will just increase the freaking A cut off to 80 or higher.

And econs today was really dreadful, it was tough enough for both... others to fail, and for me to fail as well. They should give like 3 hours for econs man, really needed the extra time to think rather than freely spamming knowledge and crapping out some kevin chan theories. I can kiss my A for GP goodbye, and throw it into a sea of my own stupidity because I probably wrote out of point. Maybe if the cambridge dude appreciates my writing, he might accidently put down an A on my script or something like that...hopefully..

Have been sick the entire exam period. Started with a bit of cough last tuesday,which developed into some regenerative monster phlegm that clogs up my throat, followed by headache after chem. The medicine seems to be utterly useless. Finished the whole course of antibiotics and still...I haven't recovered. Probably it has been the product of late nights and the lack of physical training the past 2 weeks. I think my 2.4 run might be 13 minutes now...or maybe 2 minutes because I will drop dead after the first round given my effingly irritating flu. And i have been such a great farmer having sown so many pimple seeds all over such that all the medicine is running out now...

Luckily, it's kinda over now...By wednesday, its gonna be slack time....By next tuesday, I will just run down the examination hall and tear all the entry proofs i see. Can't wait for it mann....moments from now....NJPDA will be arguing at the canteen about where to go for outing, and on the next day, we would be baking ourselves on the beach while the sands of time will have deemed to cease...
But in 1 year's time while eating shit in tekong...I might wish and yearn to do be doing my A levels again

Somehow, the good thing about this exam period is that I keep having good dreams....nice....sweet ones...
Oh my gosh, i really got to get well soon.

nice class video that makes you emo

stupid njpda videos makes your day. viewer beware, these videos are (R)-rated




(R)etarded

Prelims just ended. Some of the papers were really so effed up, with my chances of getting good grades being very low. But before carrying on to prepare for the "lims", its always good to take short breaks.

After our first 2 weeks of prelim torture, there was NJPDA outing to the comex fair. It was so damn crowded and we hardly did anything. We just walked and talked, met Mr Song who took a picture with us. And there was this Caucasian lady helping us to take the photo but pointing the camera to herself instead. What a joke. haha. Could even see her face in the viewfinder. It was tiring and our legs hurt like nuts. Really wonder how girls can shop for 5 hours, enter a shop for 1 hour and come out with nothing at all!

The next day was teacher's day. Since we were allowed to wear anything that we wanted, zac, nic goh and I wore our sji pt kit. It was damn fun. As usual, we made lots of noise. While the other classes approached their teachers silently to offer well wishes and occasional claps, that was too boring and too "nj" for us. Being a boisterous and loud bunch of fools, we brought lots of attention to our teachers. People within a 500 AoE would just turn their heads and "admire" us.

After that, we returned to sji. At first there was hardly anybody. Those who went back were mostly from NJ. Then my vj friends came, followed by those from cj. Bert, horse, and blunt greeted me with a wedgie right at the centre of the canteen. Not only was it unsuccessful, the most stupid thing was that hubert, being oblivious of his parents' presence few benches away did it right in front of them. They were probably questioning the sexual orientation of their son after that. Jing han, Jason, Augy, Shaun and I went to carl's jr for a second lunch. We talked cock for about an hour. Seems like NJPDA quite famous in VJ because Jing han showed the funky videos from our class blog to his vj class. We shared some jokes which Shaun tried to remember so that he could tell his girlfriendS. Marcus Wong joined us after his soccer game and we went to watch Walle. Initially, it seemed like a baby show to me, only entertaining for those under 1.2m. But we realised otherwise too late. It shouldn't have been wasted with a bunch of buddies.

There was a FUEL day of reflection cum outing on Saturday where we went to Botanic gardens together with Konoinia. The weather was atrocious and the heavens cried, so we didn't have much choice but to go straight to jervis's condo where we played soccer with a bunch of guys older than us who had a bad reputation for "picking a fight". Sadly, none of us were proficient goalkeepers and their players were relatively better skilled. As a result, every shot at our goal had a 80% chance of success. Luckily, they were outnumbered, and since we played substitution, the goals from our side started coming in late-game. Those guys weren't as rough as they seemed. Not a single "fuck" uttered even though a trip left me with a bleeding toe and one of them having an abrasion.Hardly ate anything during the bbq, just told jokes and stunned fuel and the con4s with "around the world in eighty days". And being stupidly careless, I misplaced my mp3 which was fortunately retrieved from caspar a week later.

The one week September holidays allowed me to concentrate on the remaining papers. Nonetheless, they were equally sucky as those I did in the 2weeks. Haiz.

After the last paper on wednesday, we had lunch with our class girls where as usual, we sat separately, and split up after the meal. While they went walking at esplanade, we were at irc blasting each other's heads in CS. Haha, and Artons who was seating beside me failed continuously to contain the "fuck!" at the back of his throat. Dota was bad because jumper, lumpy and zac were unfamiliar with the game and they were feeding nic goh fat. The opposing team had only mervyn as its sole noob, and it was difficult killing him since he was protected and advised by kaizhong. While artons and i controlled our lanes well in the first half, we were later pwned effortlessly by nicgoh who was overly fat from feeding.

We went to Sentosa yesterday. NJPDA-kaizhong, together with yongjian and aaron. Kaizhong was grounded by his mum and he sent nic goh some funny procrastinating sms in the morning. It was damn funny that kaizhong was pangsehing having chided lumpy for trying to pangseh the previous day after lan. We had pda discussion for an alternative place other than sentosa since we have been going there on the day after the last paper of every single exam. Nonetheless we still decided on sentosa.We had a game at the street soccer court against some bunch of guys. Their techniques and team work were way better than ours, the only reason why they lost was that our goal keeper jumper was that imba. As in, really imba, he catches almost everything. Slacking and monkeying at the beach was fun, as it always would be. We met Artons and kelly for dinner. Artons couldn't join us in the afternoon as he was out playing lan the whole night. zzzz. It was followed by talk cock and truth or dare session at the roof top garden with the girls who went shopping.

I can't wait till "lims" are over. Monday...its time to get back to work.

Dabong, dabong, dabong


just returned from overseas camp at stong





Day 1:0


Went to tanjong pagar railway station to board the 12 hour long train to dabong, malaysia. Had lots of stuff to carry initially. My haversack, one chunkol, two tents, and a plastic bag of food for my bottomless pit. The train ride was quite boring, luckily there were beds for us to sleep on. I started playing bridge in the canteen with cheehao, benedict, and mervyn in the canteen, followed by a few hours of asshole daidi in the cabin with jessie, sekzen, cheehao, and mervyn. It was quite fun since I held on to the king title for about 10 rounds. However, they were rather stone while playing cards, so had to self-entertain myself with my mp3player.





when we reached the railway station at dabong, there were lots of flies and mosquitoes, but still less than that of ace camp (like what sekzen said). Then, we set off for the resort at the bottom of stong via vans. Since the vans were too small to fetch all of us at one go, several trips had to be made. As usual, mervyn and i were the last to leave the station in the guild's car, together with lum chee fai. And what happened next was totally stupid, the car's tyres were punctured halfway on the journey. So everyone who reached the resort had to wait for the grand arrival of the two jokes and the retard.





The waterfall was magnificant and it reminded me of the punchbowl falls in New zealand which i climbed about 6 years ago. The scenery was so beautiful that the cascading water stirred the hearts of the OAC lovebirds as their eyes burned with passion and their hands found each other. The hike up to the base camp was quite bad, really bad. Wonder why do they call it the base camp when it is at the top of the waterfall. It was super slippery and I wet my underwear, trackpants and tent even before we reached the base camp. After leaving our belongings at the base camp, we had to climb to the summit. It was a long journey and my shoes were so slip-non-resistant. Mervyn wasn't better off. The two of us kept slipping and dirtying our track pants. In the end, oac was just too slow, and the guide estimated that we would only reach the summit close to nightfall. Though I really desired to reach the top, most oacians were already exhausted, and it was also dangerous to descend the mountain at night, hence we made our way down, giving up on our goals. Going down was an arduous task, we kept slipping, falling, falling, slipping. After a while, I was probably even more dirty than the ground, and to prevent the agony of falling, I sat on the yellowish-slimy brown earth and skied my way downhill. It sucks for mervyn lim who was limping and shafting his hands between his upper thighs and underwear with every step.

Ok, here's the best part of the trip:

We were given like 30minutes to wash up. While some people stayed in their tents spamming prickly heat and cooking their dinners, others were bathing at the gathering place with a beautiful scenery. Since oac has both genders unlike sji, people didn't dare to take off their clothing while bathing. It was no point bathing in dirty clothing since you would still be dirty after the bath, hence benedict, mervyn, and I went to a higher isolated point of the waterfall and bathed there. The water was super nice, cool, and refreshing, just three guys bathing , it was much better than washing myself with water used by 20 others. We bathed till sunset where the atmosphere was serene and it felt that we were the only living things in the entire forest. It was very dark at the campsite since there were no streetlamps, but still we had the best meal i ever had at any camp where we had to do outfield cooking.

We descended the mountain the next day and headed for some caves. The limestone caves were awesome and they reminded me of the alien cave in star trek where the queen alien shafted her proboscis into the man's head.Then, 13 of us entered an underwater cave. What happened to the 29 others? They were stopped at the entrace of the cave by lumcheefai, khoo, and claralee since they deemed it as being "too dangerous". The 13 of us had already gone underwater and proceeded to the other side of the cave, so there was no turning back. The cave was cramped up, and it was a long, narrow, meandering route to its opening. There were even bats on the ceiling of the cave. Finally, we emerged at the exit and the guide told us some bad news: "er...er..saya..thisa...place, leeches,..many..many leeches,..one by one...one...one...you..is run...must run...across...fasti.d" The next moment, I found myself splashing through a waterlogged field (similar to the one in "Anaconda") When those wriggly, fugly things jumped onto my legs, i whacked them off desperately. We finally reached a road where cows were chewing grasses, horny drivers were beeping furiously at us to get off the road, and shagged-looking, yet happy oacians were sharing their experiences. I realised that I was the only one out the 13 who had the balls to enter the caves in shorts and not get bitten at all. The ip1s, alvyn, and rv girls were all in trackpants, full combat attire against leeches and its amphibious allies.

the shower at the railway village was crap. At first we were told by lumcheefai that there was no light, there were two showers but when one is turned on, the other is off, and we had a limited amount of water to use. Then, suddenly the lights were switched on, and we were elated. But rejoice was too early, way too early. The moment the lights were turned on, swarms of flies entered the shower room. Terence was screaming desperately for help, he was like:"kevin! kevin! just come in and help!" When I went to his rescue, i was dumbfounded at the grotesque sight. It was a nude oac vice-president clutching his family jewels with one hand and frantically scratching the back of his shoulders with his other. There were ants with their scattered wings all over his back, and their jaws were embeded in his skin.

Luckily, I had my bath in a shower room further from the light source. Yet, mosquitoes and flies were relentlessly attacking my groin and lower body. Mervyn was bathing in the shower room where terence was assaulted, and had to face the six-legged horrors too. However, a worse beast was awaiting me.

"mervyn, u done or not? my turn leh."

"ok, i off already"

Just as I was about to push the tap, the creature pounced from its camouflage on the wall, missing me by a few inches.

"LIZARD! lizard! fuck you lizard! fuck! get away! fucking lizard!"

It was a fat, stupid, and gay lizard, the 4-legged predator of the flies. It scurried to mervyn's cubicle and took a place with its buddy at the lights, enjoying the feast we had prepared for them. It was a nightmare come through, I had often dreamed about many little lizards, or one monster lizard jumping onto me when I was naked. Once, I even had this gruesome dream where the lizard jumped onto my groin, and i couldn't find it. When I spotted it, the idiot bit onto my balls and did not let go.

It was not over. At the railway station, khoo informed us that the tour agency had booked a wrong train which was set to depart the next day, and we had to stand on the entire journey till seats were available. Want sleep also cannot sleep, and people were staring at us like some goondoos standing on the KMTexpress. Passengers must be thinking that we were some illegal immigrants from dabong. They should really give us a certificate for "standing on train for 10hours", and compensate us too, man.

Though lots of stuff screwed up..the camp still rocks. Personally, i feel what is important about such a trip is the experience it gives us, and allows us to share it with other people. i mean if the trip went totally smoothly, there would be nothing to talk about, laugh about, and reminiscense in the future. On the train, i was like:"fuck, fuck, idiotic piece of craps", but after i reach home, theres this desire to be put into that situation again. In the past during sjisjab june camps, we would be counting the no. of hours to the end of camp, dreading every minute that passes in fear of new demands from the ncos. However, if I had a chance now, I wouldn't mind pressing some time machine button and be teleported to the instant where ACSM sean chua screwed the COS PTE kevin chan for giving wrong orders. I also wouldn't mind appearing at the 50 push-ups count when we were pumped 100 as sec1s when my dear squadmate marcus soh innocently cut the R&W nco's squad. Its an irony. Though there were many faults and unpleasant surprises during the trip, this trip has been a success for all of us. A camp/expedition is "a venture out of our comfort zones and an opportunity to develop as leaders(lasallian)"

common test really sucks. I think it will be difficult to obtain above a C for any of the papers, even more difficult to get an S for chem with a 8/30 for mcq.



Lots of holiday homework to be done. June has become a mugging holiday, but it's good for us since the A levels are in 5 months time, and judging from my current performance, im probably gonna screw my life up if I don't get serious with my work. Looking back, I realised I NEVER completed my holiday homework during the holidays throughout my entire JC life. In secondary school, holiday homework was only done on the last few days of the holiday and the first few days of school. hehe. Im going to transform to my alterego, the king of muggers, the deadly mugger, the holy mugger, mugger knight, mugger ranger, muggermon, the angel of muggers, the guadian of books, whatever.



Anyway, the post-ct period rocks. We had class outing after physics paper. Almost the entire class turned up. We went to sukyi sushi for buffet. Though the quality of the food isn't that good, we can't expect much lah since it was just 21 bucks. I was sitting with lumpy, dan, and nic goh. The table behind had kaiajikezhong jike jike zhong zhong and jumper, with marvin and aaron. Kaizhong was damn amused with marvin's eating habits and took some videos. The table with mervyn, zac, and artons were talking about the same topic as us, only difference was that we were having a more in depth discussion. As usual, the girls didn't sit with us. We saw lots of nj pple too, including kok hao. Iordered scallops, but what came was some scalded scallops which were cold, and very tasteless. Really sucks, i hate this kind of scallops, either give me raw or fully cooked la. There were 16 scallops altogether. lumpy was emoing in his natural state so he couldn't eat any, in the end we threw the scallops into a plastic bag and hid it nextto lumpy so that we won't have to pay extra for food wasted. haaah, and we forgot to dispose it before leaving, so the waiter who was cleaning our area after we left was probably like..thinking of shafting chopsticks up our asses. We split from the girls later and went to play lan. Dota was seriously gg for my team, it was lumpy, jumper, zac, mervyn, and me, against nic goh, kaizhong, artons, dan, who were all pros. Luckily, I managed to kill 3 of them with the exception of nic goh. Then we played cs, initially it was damn confusing since lumpy made us play pool-day and he kicked our nuts like shit. The best part was when i sneaked behind the blur mervyn who was trying to aim with his carbine, took my knife and chopped his balls off.



The next day, we went to sentosa. Lots of people pangseh, mostly the girls, and kaijikezhong and jumper. Two of them idiots, pangseh pda. daniel skipped band, mervyn and i skipped some oac briefing, and they didnt have stuff on but just didnt feel like going. So we played volleyball and incited the spirit of kaizhong to help us, in the end we won the girls. I dug a damn big hole and owned everyonelse, haaha, totally ownedge, like some pool with white stuff in it.



At night we ate at food republic with lynette and jamie. Thought of watching a movie initially, but we talked cock after dinner for more than 2 hours. Lots and lots of crap we told the girls, including our sji tales and josephian adventures. Our class rocks man, somehow v.cheng was so stupid to put the sji and cat high pple into one class. And our class has 5 sji peeps, comparable to an average class in cjc.



On friday we played cards behind the hall and got caught by a council teacher, thanks to the some of us playing the piano and making so much noise. Zi xiang appeared all of a sudden and told us to hide, but it was too late, the teacher came in like 4 seconds after him. She initially thought that we were j1s until i was identified as the maktab guy. Sighz. We played soccer after to school with the guys from other classes, luckily kelly helped us, if not we would have been owned like crazy. Went for fuel spark in church at night. It was kind of fun since i hadn't gone for quite some time, and according to adam, this particular meeting had a sudden increase in people, and it was joel's bday too.

There was rock climbing course on saturday. However, it was mainly supposed to test our belaying skills. I was told that i forgot to do something during the test by the instructor. I wasn't told what my mistake was initially, but it came to light later that i did not ask whether the climber wanted to continue his climb or not after he had fallen. I had done lots of rock climbing and heights-related stuff, and what i was accustomed to was "fall-on" after the climber announces that he might be falling. Too much confidence that I didn't pay attention during the lesson. In the evening, went to church for the youth outreach mass and family prayer gathering.

Sunday, monday, tuesday...didn't even touch homework. Just gunbound, cs, dune, frozen throne, guitar evey day...
Went for a swim at my sister's condo yesterday. There was no one at the pool. the lap pool, adventure pool, jaccuzzi was all mine. It really rocks compared to the SRC or public swiming pool where I have to avoid touching someone else's bodyparts whenever i make a single stroke. We watched indiana jones and the crystal skull at night. Man, that guy is really old and weak now, and kinda wuse too.

I would be going to malaysia later for oac bwm overseas trip. the train ride itself is 10 hours and ohh my, i hope that the mosquitoes are all guys. Though difficult, i got to try to keep my spirits high and irritate everyone. From experience, the moment my laughter disappears, evryone emos, and when i emo...that's it...the camp's gonna suck.

Im finding myself lagging behind by a lot, people like marvin already started on nuclear physics which was only given out 2 days ago. So damn difficult to catch up on my work.

Had to do some essay on poverty for gp today. Writing essays really sucks, i'd rather do some chem or math test instead. All my mood was like drained after doing it. Then, mervyn started becoming gee xiao during econs, laugh non-stop. Had to do physics presentation after lunch and yongster asked so much shit, and since I neither prepared nor knew much about what i was presenting, nick lim and I just crapped our way through as usual.

My standing broad jump is really bad, and if I don't hit 230m in two weeks time, Im gonna lose my gold. Haiz, got to train harder.

Bus took such a bloody long time to cum, and i was like wet all over by the time I got on the bus. The aircon was like freezing much colder than my lame jokes, almost dieded by hypothermia. And my handphone seriously sucks, couldn't even make a call to my mum to pick me from the bus stop. Had to take an emo walk through the drizzle. Suddenly, the angels wanted me to train my shuttle run and it poured like mad, it was as if happy buddha sat on the clouds and started peeing. By the time I reached home, was totally drenched...

I think my mp3 is some kind of brain controlling machine, the moment the earphones touch my ear, my mouth is sealed and someone drifts into my mind....

Here Without You (by 3 doors down)

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same

All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you and me.

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me.

Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it's all said and done.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me

Some food for thought....

17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. "I wowed 'em," he later told his father, Bruce. "It's the best thing I ever wrote.." It also was the last. Brian's parents had forgotten about the essay when a cousin found it while cleaning out the teenager's locker at Teary Valley High School. Brian had been dead only hours, but his parents desperately wanted every piece of his life near them - notes from classmates and teachers, his homework. Only two months before, he had handwritten the essay about encountering Jesus in a file room full of cards detailing every moment of the teen's life. But it was only after Brian's death that Beth and Bruce Moore realized that their son had described his view of heaven. "It makes such an impact that people want to share it. You feel like you are there." Mr. Moore said. Brian Moore died May 27, 1997. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck an utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted. The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it," Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him."

Brian's Essay: The Room

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched", I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me.One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot.

Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.And then I saw it.. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained with one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red, so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room.

There was no lock on its door.

There were still cards to be written.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."- Philippians 4:13.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

Looking out of the windows,
its pitch dark,
no quacks from any ducks
like how it had been in the day.
its so unlike the day
now that im alone.
1.54....1.55....1.56...the minutes pass by...
i just cant get to sleep
till this justice has been fufilled....

That day...
I heard the laughter
I smelt the flowers
I saw the love
I touched the friendship
I felt the joy...
Yet...the taste of tears is distinct at the back of my throat

I dont want to care..i dont want to give a shit, but i still yearn to injure myself on that rose...of...pain..

this sucks...

Im alone...all Icould do is be your p.a.l.....

Orientation ended yesterday. Few weeks ago, I was hoping that this day would come as soon as possible, but currently Im a bit depressed. This means that the big work load will start coming in by monday and my excuses as an OGL will no longer be valid. Most importantly, the fun has ended and i will have to move away from the solaris ogls, from 08ip03, and back to studies...

The preparation for orientation was heavy. There were so many dance practices to attend, and being untalented in dance, it was very difficult to pick-up the dance steps quickly. We spent the most time preparing for the walk-in dance, had to go to school about 3 times a week during the december holidays to practise dance steps and to design the cardboard lion. However, through these, we had the opportunity to bond with the other solaris ogls and extend the njpda influence. haha. Then there was the end-of-year ogl camp where we had extreme fun. We had a new ecstacy cheer for solaris which mervyn introduced and soon everybody in Solaris was shaking their bodies and shouting the cheer like a bunch of idiots. The atmosphere was equivalent to the times like last year's dance party where a big group of people actually followed us in the stupid things we did. By the first night of the ogl camp, my voice was hoarse, having screamed the SJI cheers only to be countered by "S-J-I sucks". As usual, I spammed my ogl group with lameity, and the rest of njpda especially nic goh made our crippled presence known to the ogls of 2008. The 4 of us(zac, nic goh, mervyn, and me) spent the night in the middle of the field where we played cards and talked crap. Nic goh was jumping around with his butt right in front of zac's face and it was ultimately humorous lah. I joined him too and soon we were half-naked rolling about on the field laughing "whahhhwaahhhwhaah!" Then, I came up with a new joke inspired by what zac said to mervyn....

we are truly bopa(bunch of possessed assholes)

The real show started on 2nd Jan, the first day of orientation. I was allocated to an ip class, wasn't really contented initially since I preferred a mainstream class. I was the only ogl who wasn't from ip allocated to an ip class. The first day I saw 08ip03, they looked rather stone and it appeared that they would be that way till the end of orientation. Hardly mixed with them during the first week of orientation since I didn't have the time to do so anyway. The only people I could remember by the end of the first week were of course Sekzen( my cadet), chunwai(the other josephain), and Hao Qing (Suyi's brother). However, by the second week, we started interacting more, and they were a fan of my lame jokes. Station games was the starting point for their cheering abilities and they became more bonded after it. The turning point was on Wednesday when I spammed them with my lame jokes during the quest. 08ip03 has a great potential for being lame and they started telling me their jokes too. Lots of funny and weird stuff occurred during the quest too...though i won't mention it here. The girls in ip03 were also able to understand yellow jokes too and they were readily able to join in the fun. (Of course lah, Solaris is a yellow house) Amanda told me a super own-edge joke which burst all the laughter-controlling barriers in me. Best sia! Though they didn't win the quest, it was no big deal since their class spirit was there.

Yesterday, there was inter-clan war games. I was a referee, but still kena bombarded by water bombs. Nic goh started pulling down people's pants, and it was contagious, everyone started doing so too. Then, I was tao poked by my ip03 and some other ogls who stuffed the black stuff from the field into my pants. Damn dirty, damn wet! But anyway, Lignum-Solaris-terra won! In the afternoon, the juniors were supposed to guess our secondary school. It was obvious I was from sji since I shouted the sji cheers and wore green shorts almost everyday. Hence, I decided to wear the anderson pina-fold borrowed from mei gui, it was ultimate mann!! The whole LT was roaring with laughter. I even made a large tummy and huge boobs with my sji uniform. Nic Goh wore Liz's MGS uniform. OMG, it was crazy lah, it was so tight fitting for him and his underwear was exposed to everyone a couple of times when he spinned around.

It ended with the dance party in the hall which was extremely smelly!
At the end of the dance party, we gave ip03 affirmation letters with their photos on them. Almost cried lah!
08ip03, our journey with you ends here, but your journey in NJ has just begun...
Thank you 08ip03 OGLs, Elizabeth, Jing Ho, Estella, Jason....for OGLling with me
Thank you njpda for entertainment...as usual
Thank you 08ipo3 for the support you gave, and the time I enjoyed being your OGL...